All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This house was built for laser tag.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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