don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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