I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
