We need to rekindle our bromance
I am midnight drunk by noon
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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