I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I bet he comes in French.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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