There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
