do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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