Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
