Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
