Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
