"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
