i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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