So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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