you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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