so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
