She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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