I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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