I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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