So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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