If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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