Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
