The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
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two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
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College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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