I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
