i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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