We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
