just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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