omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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