Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize