My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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