somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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