Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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