FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
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Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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