he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
