His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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