Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
