I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize