my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
