Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
