batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
