Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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