giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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