we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
