My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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