I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
