I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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