After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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