it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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