Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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