I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
