i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Randomize
