I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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