I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
