Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
