i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
