I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
