sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
