yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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