we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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