i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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