I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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