This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
