It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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