I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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