It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize