I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Vodka?
Forever.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
