if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
